the BRUTAL, UGLY truth of my FABULOUS, BEAUTIFUL life.



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14:13 + 18.03.2008 = stupid day, part two: screw you, melissa etheridge! keep them away from my window.

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so i fell asleep with the tele on sans sleep-timer set. i awoke to a rapping at my window.

what is that? no way that's wind shaking the ill-placed tree..., i thought.

i squinted to eke out a general picture of the world around me as i fumbled for my spectacles.

i found and attached said-spectacles. i squinted again [i SO need a new prescription].

FUCKING HELL CHRIST MOTHERFUCKY JESUS SHIT!!! THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE!

i whippt off the 2 non-A.W.O.L members of the duvet fortress and dashed across the room out of sight of the window. i put on clothes [[apparently, whenst drunk, i sleep near-naked... this was news to me]]. i slowly crept back to my window to doublecheck that i wasn't just imagining all this.

[[SILENT SCREAM!]]
a face! at my window! and a finger pointing against the pane!!

i ran out of my room and into the kitchen, to the window 15ft east of the one in my room.

i opened it and shouted, "WHO ARE YOU! WHAT THE FUCK D'YA WANT!? WHAT THE BLOODY HELL'S GOING ON!?!?"

the wee man scurried over to the kitchen window and loudly whispered, "it's me. you said i could come over."

"who?" made out his face and recognised him as the artist now-known-again as Prince. ...only taller. oh yeah... it registered: it's the lookalike that works at the petshoppe across the street from my work. the guy that i fooled around with ages ago and just ran into on my way home [to sleep] from the pub [on the internet].

"no, i didn't... go away."
"let me in. i want to come in."
"YOU CAN'T. i'm sleeping. my flatmate's sleeping. and NO, NO, NO!"

the cat ran up to me thinking it was going to get wet-food since i was standing between his eating-station and the pantry wherst the magical wet-food is kept.

the not-Prince began purring and rubbing his face against the tree branches and window screen. "let me in... the cat wants me to come in..." [[i should mention his name upon the internet has "cat" in it.]]

oh christ... one of those... ew. "no. go home."

"are you serious?!?!" he spake, in a tone simultaneously offended, defensive and angry.

"completely."
i shut the window and locked it. i ran to the front door, turning off all the lights as i do. i get to the "porch" and raced down the stairs to locked the door to the street.

oh shit! my secret room! i scurried back up the steps, into the flat... more of the shrouding of lights and locking of doors and windows... into my room, to the back, into the secret room... lock that door [if he breaks the glass; i'll hear it.] shut the door-that-won't-shut-completely between my room and secret room. moved the computer desk a few inches closer so that i could wedge my crappy electric guitar between the desk and the radiator so that door-that-won't-shut-completely has a barricade [and buffer, should not-prince figure out how bloody easy it is to get into my place if he really wanted to do so.]

i got back into bed. smoked a fag in complete darkness and silence. realised that the cat makes far too much noise in the wee hours of morning. i remained fully-clothed, fully-spectacled, fully-armed with rolling pin and phone tightly clenched in hands, in bed... waiting for sleep or creep to come crashing through...

i woke up at 11am in the same position.

i tell my flatmate...
"next time, wake me up... i'll invite him in and beat the living shit out of him."

[[yeah... i guess i'm a [pardon the usage-of] pussy.]]

and that was last tuesday!

to whomever may have silly notions of someone throwing rocks at your window in the middle of the night to profess said-someone's passion for you [or your cocksucking aptitude] being "romantic..." SNAP OUT OF IT! IT'S FUCKING CREEPY AS HELL!



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comments?? --->[thisaway]--->[[looks to me as though there are...]]---> 2 repercussions thus far

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[prologue] *** [epilogue] ***[plottwist!]

[[erstwhile]] ***** [[forthwith]]

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else...
immortality!



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