the BRUTAL, UGLY truth of my FABULOUS, BEAUTIFUL life.


14:21 + 28.12.2006 = read this with a cup of coffee and a double of whisky.


jesus fuckin' christ... where to begin.

1. am appalled i've not updated in over six days, especially since the events over said-duration have been astronomical in terms of anecdotal-properties.

2. Christmas at Mum's:

a) strange, secret fact of my father to come out of the woodwork this christmas: wearing nailpolish is his dealbreaker. i.e. he told my mum that he would divorce her if she ever wore nailpolish. i.e. pt.2, he scrubbed the nailpolish off of my (then) 4yo sister's nail [[sans nailpolish remover]] after my grandmum had painted all the little girl cousins' fingernails.
i know this story is not as wonderfully delicious as dad's darksecrets-past and pales significantly when held up to the whole adopted-off-the-black-market or the is-half-a-jew stories. ...but 'tis something.
b) apparently, my mum is known as "Angie" by all the employees of Hot Topic where the majority of my li'lest sister's gifts were purchased.
c) the kitchen is still not anywhere-near finished. we ate food from crockpots plugged into electrical outlits in the downstairs bathroom and drank chilled, carbonated beverages from a refrigerator occupying exactly one-eighth of the relatively-small diningroom.
d) So NoTORIous is a brilliant show.
e) my mother wouldn't buy me the amy sedaris book because the word, "intoxicated" was on the cover--the discussion of which escalated into a fight during christmas-morning stockings. ...i'll have to buy the bloody book myself... which is only irritating cos i purposefully didnot purchase it and have it signed whenst she was in town as i had asked for it for christmas [[and had done such before/above anything else.]]
f) since the options for wine at dinner were chilled merlot; non-alcoholic, swedish apple/pear ciders; and white zin... i drank whisky-cranginger ales from a spare bottle of rebel yell that i keep hidden in my room at mum's. and i did-so, HEAVILY.

3. Christmasday Night Party at the bartenders':

a) awesome.
b) wicked.
c) his friends adore me as i them.
d) we're official.
e) he gifted me H&M underwear that say "Mr. Fantastic" upon the arse. I jokingly, rhetorically said, "i wonder how long it'll take before pictures of me wearing these pop-up all abouts the internet..." he later said, "i want to be the only one who sees you in these."
f) awwww.... BLESS 'IM!

4. I worked the next day. hung-the-fuck-over. and drove 3 hours to grandmum's house.

5. After the arrival of a certain-two relatives, I realised I was sans whisky. or beer. or decent wine.

6. the next day, I ran around the entirety of Marshall, MN and found no liquorstores. i was also forced to step into a SuperWalmart for tortilla chips, salsa, yarn, tapestry needles and stitch-markers.

7. i drank an entire bottle of chilled [[!!! what's wrong with my family!?]] merlot at dinner. i snuck outside to smoke a fag [[or two simultaneously, as it were]] and recorded a blair-witch-like video of my excruciating panick and tension in regards to the whole thing.

8. decided christmas at grandmum's would be splendidgood fun were it not for the tedious unwrapping of gifts. [one at a time, one person at a time, in a circle] [[stocking-opening time: 1hr53min; tree-opening time: 2hr24min]].

9. camera completely died as i went about the house taking photos of a) things i would like willed to me, and b) things that creep me the fuck out.

10. i'm safe and sound at home in mpls now. i desperately seek alone/down-time... but i've got friends to call and bestfriends to rescue from their respective family xmas events.


comments?? --->[thisaway]--->[[looks to me as though there are...]]---> 0 repercussions thus far


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