the BRUTAL, UGLY truth of my FABULOUS, BEAUTIFUL life.



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11:23 p.m. + 2005-09-01 = osten står ensam (eller ifred). ni bestämmer er.

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i'm quite frustrated on the homo-front.


1. i've seasons 1&2 of "curb your enthusiasm" sitting on my makeshift bedside table, left [on purpose, mind you!] by someone i'm not particularly interested in [in the way he's interested in me.] text messages asking me if i'm enjoying the discs soon will lead to phone calls about when he can see me again... and i simply haven't the heart to tell such a nice guy that... well, writing such things tends to get me in trouble, so i'll stop there.

2. i miss djp. not in the way i used to/usually missed him. strictly in friendship sense this time. but, he is either silent, ignoring, blocking or just cold toward me. mostly well-deserved on my part, i'm afraid.

3. everything beautiful is far away. to my west, brian. to my east, well... the word "pine" is as lovely a verb as it is a surname. [[i understand this is a new introduction of character. forgive me for my crypticness.]]

4. i'm far too oversexed and way too underlaid.

5. everyone up to remedial-par [[which is really the best it gets these parts]] has apparently paired off. pda's abound. sickening. if only because of the obnoxious envy drilling its way out through my irises.

6. i seem to only be writing songs with such zingers as: "you wear your hope just like a tourniquet; you make optimism seem masochistic," "no pressure on you... just don't fuck it up," "my skin doesn't crawl for anyone but you," and a borrowed phrase, but brilliant nonetheless... "do your best, just make sure it's perfect." but the tone of such songs is not one i embrace [[since i'm trying to complete "losers/weepers" in time for a late autumn release]]... so i work out such anger/frustration by covering bikini kill songs in my folky-twangy manner. [[though, in and of itself: fucking brilliant premise, if'n i do say so.]]


ah. a phone call. from a fir tree. and most all the aforementioned seems like inconsequential footnote.


[[play: superchunk, "good dreams." track5 of come pick me up.]]

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comments?? --->[thisaway]--->[[looks to me as though there are...]]---> 0 repercussions thus far

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[prologue] *** [epilogue] ***[plottwist!]

[[erstwhile]] ***** [[forthwith]]

reference desk

me
&
you
or
us
&
them
else...
immortality!



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