the BRUTAL, UGLY truth of my FABULOUS, BEAUTIFUL life.
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10:29 p.m. + 2005-05-24 = syndromes
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i need to insert this into a conversation. somewhere. anywhere. for anyone. [though, i'd prefer it not be djp].
some brutal, ugly truths of my beautiful, fabulous life at current:
1. i'm so fucking bored. nearly all the time.[get me off this island-syndrome].
2. my go-to bestfriend within a 200miles radius is also my former boyfriend with whom i am and shall always be hopelessly [desparately?] in love. and we've complicated and tiresome (slightly dramatic) conversations regarding our estranged status fairly regularly. [i only want what i can't have, but continues to self-rub it into my face-syndrome].
3. i take pills to sleep. pills to wake. pills to eat [well... they're vitamins, but still: pill-form]. [i learned this trick from a movie-syndrome].
4. i've had neither caffeine nor alcohol in weeks. [except for that bottle of wine last wednesday when #5 became a brutal, ugly truth.] [i've lost the meaning of life-syndrome].
5. i am shagging (or being shagged by) a 43yo man that has my dad's name, an amazing view from his temporary flat, green eyes, good conversation skills, a pretty smile/disposition and v. recently underwent gallbladder surgery. [no comment at this time-syndrome].
6. i am pretty much RELYING on bethany and amanda moving into my house in october and august, respectively. i see it as having healing/saviour-like properties. [batteries not included-syndrome].
7. i am doing this all in attempt to feel anything-but-utterly-broken. as though the pursuit of happiness is a path terribly out-of-reach. [i make do with whichever-colour brick road is before me-syndrome].
8. i can't stand me right now. [want of the nail-syndrome].
9. the sleeping pills have kicked in. [g'night and oops!-syndrome].
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comments?? --->[thisaway]--->[[looks to me as though there are...]]---> 0 repercussions thus far
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[prologue] *** [epilogue] ***[plottwist!]
[[erstwhile]] ***** [[forthwith]]
