the BRUTAL, UGLY truth of my FABULOUS, BEAUTIFUL life.
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5:10 p.m. + 2004-02-12 = almond biscotti is fastly approaching human rights violation.
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so, just what ARE the magic ingredients that turn 8hour workday with ample smoke, coffee and food breaks into 11.63hour workday with only 3 fagbreaks and 2 large swigs of coffee?
so glad you asked!
((1. tony is a fuckstick. the first batch of muffins were mysteriously not rising or baking... i immediately panicked, thinking oven needed a-fixing or a-calibrating and how would i go about finding someone capable of doing such things at 5.15 in the morning... but then my second batch of muffins baked just fine with the fresh dry muffin mix i had to whip up [because tony is fuckstick]... so led me to believe there was something wrong with tony's muffin mix (which made just one batch of muffins... a tastetest shows that fuckstick forgot baking powder and at least a quart of unrefined sugar. so my day immediate falls off track as i have to remake a batch of muffins. anyway, long story slightly shorter: my to-do list was insanely bigger than it has ever been. which means i'm asking for raise for baking days because tony makes at least twice what i do and does fuckall AND his food is either bad, lackluster, or huge. [we may change name of chocolate cake to be "practically free chocolate cake"]))
2. biscotti. oh, woeisme, biscotti. you defy logic, and my steadfast belief that people tire of same ol' same ol'. your recipe, not even a good one, has remained a constant. your flavour has been almond for the last year. we made you but once a week until a month ago. now we made you every other bloody day if not every frickin' day. and nothing's changed about you. what's with the biscottimanac townspeople? your fans are interrupting my flow, because you interrupt my flow, my groove. you have this way of shouting, "HELLO, I'M SELLING LIKE MAD AND YOU BEST HUSTLE YOUR BAKINGASS TO THE KITCHEN TO WHIP ME UP SOME MORE." it's digusting. most unbecoming. twicebaked catcalls are slightly dehumanising. i'm unhappily your bitch, signore biscotti. but there will come a day that the rights of bitchbakers be vindicated.... and the above shall perhaps be preface to book.
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comments?? --->[thisaway]--->[[looks to me as though there are...]]---> 0 repercussions thus far
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[prologue] *** [epilogue] ***[plottwist!]
[[erstwhile]] ***** [[forthwith]]
