2.
a girl came up to me and said, "can i tell you something? and please don't be offended..." i thought the worst [given that i had just sang "mr. pitiful" by otis redding for the first karaoke-time ever in honour of and was somewhat a total disaster at singing it. "...don't take this the wrong way, but you remind me of the beastie boys." --why would i be offended?!-- "well, some people just don't care for them. but, they're fashion icons! i mean, they were like the first ones to grow the ironic moustache! and i saw you singing and just HAD to come over and tell you that you're 'like totally' mike d." --awesome. you're not from around here, are you?-- "i just moved from oakland." --oh, sigh... ...oakland...-- "what!? don't be giving me attitude." --no. it's not attitude. my most beloved ex lives/works there. ever hear of oliveto?-- "of course. but i wouldn't know him; i could never afford to eat there." --i hear ya.-- "do you like this song" [[love is a battlefied is being sung by apt karaoke-ers.]] --most definitely.-- "do you want to rock out for a bit with me to it." --fo' sho'!--

3.
i give friend mc a ride home. as i'm dropping him off at his front lawn, he says, "i shouldn't, but i'm going to, cos i like you..." --spit it out.-- "...are you for sure dating p.p.?" --don't know. i kinda blew him off yesterday. i'm just not... why?? what do you know?-- "well, you say that you're dating, but i know he's really-seeing [so&so]..." --who's that?-- "we saw him at the [lesbianbar] in cowboy boots that one time.." --ooo! he was my secret boyfriend for a good solid fortnight of fantasising!-- "so you're ok?" --phew! yes! ohgodyeah... such a relief... now i don't need to fret so much about how to tell p.p. that i just want to be friends without actually saying, 'let's just be friends.' cos, ew...gross. now i don't have to feel guilty for being the rejector. seriously... all my work friends love him to death. he's a great guy... i just don't want to sleep with him. ever.--

and all this in the course of 3 hours... and i didn't even get the slightest bit drunk.