must hunt out and destroy the responsible parties.

and of course, i'm referring to the le cordon bleu college of culinary arts mpls/st. paul commercial.

if i could find it on youtube, i would let it speak for itself.

but as it were...

it starts out with a riff.
and a voiceover announcing, "the best things in life are free..."
the screen splits into four pictures:
"the sun... the beach... 'hanging out'...AND this free career guide to le cordon bleu college of culinary arts."

ugh.
gag.

first off, the sun has never been one of the best things in life, especially with my genetic skintone.

secondly, the beach comes with an emotional price that i'm none-too-happy to pay. fair dues, the beach is monetarily free. [unless you drive there and pay quarter-hourly for metered parking.]

third-like, "hanging out" is, thus far, the orange in the apple orchard. the intangible example. [[moreover, the picture is a bunch of people in what looks to be a trendy bar that charges 15dollars per martini to cover the cost of the obnoxious frilly umbrellas. p.s. i'm completely over the backlit shelves of unopened liquor bottles. it's trite, kids, not trendy.]] though perhaps, the 'hanging-out' non-sequitur's purpose is that of segue to the other misnomer in the "best things in life for free" category...

like that of the fourthmost, a career guide for restaurant employment!? seriously!?!? having worked many years now [by the way, i just turned 4 at my job a couple weeks ago. making me the 3rd eldest in the kitchen barring the assistant deli manager, a dishwasher and three of the cheese-cutters] side by side with le cordon bleu [OF MPLS/ST.PAUL [[located in a first-tier southeastern 'burb of st.paul]]] graduates who owe just as much money in student loans as i [who attended �berexpensive 4yr private university with the help of many a scholarship] do. and not that we hate our jobs or aren't content... but we certainly aren't able to afford hanging out in trendy bars, nor do we have enough freetime to go to the beach.

hmmm, speaking of which... it's beautiful outside. maybe i'll go to the beach. or to the grocer's.

i dreamt about mussels with tarragon, shallots and brandy... i must make it a reality.

though, living this far from any saltwater coast severely deflates my hopes of finding acceptable mussels.