the BRUTAL, UGLY truth of my FABULOUS, BEAUTIFUL life.



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21:33 + 14.01.2007 = playful birthday whinging.

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it is commonplace, if not common knowledge, that the powers-that-be hate my birthday. ...and that i am rather quick to admit defeat.

case in point: i am chainsmoking and drinking the remainder of my Rebel Yell [with warm, flat coke] alone in my boyfriend's [[omg! slightly-haunted!]] flat whilst he is at work, sistersister is all-too-readily clinging to "snowed-in" excuse, one housemate is at the bar of initial plans, another housemate quite-excusably claims "snowed-in" status, and work-friends are [of course] [["of course" cos of my poor, lazy communication skills, not cos of any fault/malice on their part/s]] M.I.A.

further evidentiary support:

01.14.1981: i am born, hellsa premature, to a v. sick mother. both of use would have died had her water broken since my umbilical cord was woven throughout the embryonic sac. [[ooo! medical terms!!!]] and to add insult to injury... i am born in st. paul, minnesota when i was due, months later, to be born in sweden. ...or was it ireland?

01.14.1985-1995: i am forced to eat lasagna because, apparently, this is "my favourite" dish despite my lactose-indifference and over-zealous gag-reflex to most-things italian.

01.14.1996: i am hijacked and shainghai-ed away to a restaurant that then, attempted to kill me. [[subtitle: the day i became aware that shellfish are really god's li'l assassins.]]

01.14.1997: i take my driver's test in a rental car upon two inches of fresh, glare ice.

01.14.1998: i sit in the dodgy dentist's chair for 5 hours whilst he fills cavity-upon-non-existent cavity.

01.14.1999: my mother whilst toting my gifts and birthday dinner slams on her brakes at a yellow trafficklight and gets severely rear-ended. she was okej, everything else was destroyed.

01.14.2000: my throat closes up due to an abscess. i stop breathing. i am saved by a slightly-clairvoyant mother who breaks down my jimmied door. a paycheque and 48 of my favourite cd's are stolen from my uni flat as well.

01.14.2002: emergency rootcanal from a swedish-is-his-second-language-and-english-isn't-his-first dentist who would only accept cash. moreover, his office was located within what-can-only-be-described-as a stripmall.

01.14.2003: i am told by a passerby upon the corner of Mass Ave and Tremont in Boston proper, that i should not rap. [[pipedreams are dashed! the desire to be missy elliot is mercilessly crushed!!]]

01.14.2004: i receive my B.A. diploma in the post. a) i feel like i just dropped 120,000grand on an education that non-chalantly declares me "done."
b) i realise i am now a college graduate with no plans, no dayjob aspirations.
c) i am totally still living in my mum's house.

01.14.2007: impromptu snowfall [though breathtakingly beautiful]] ruins harried plans.

but really what can we expect of a day that saw the first breaths of Jordy, the french disco-singing baby; faye duneway; benedict arnold; and two serial killers with 216+ victims each; and, the last breaths of lewis carroll [[the author, not the actor]] and humphrey boghart?

oh god... i sound like i'm whining, don't i?

pshaw. it's all rather tongue-in-cheek to me.

...cos there's whisky and crossword puzzles and snow and an 80% chance of passionate sex with the boy once he returns from work.

[[but really, i'd settle for a bottle of wine, a long kiss and the answers to 66-down and 104-across.]]



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comments?? --->[thisaway]--->[[looks to me as though there are...]]---> 3 repercussions thus far

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[prologue] *** [epilogue] ***[plottwist!]

[[erstwhile]] ***** [[forthwith]]

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