the BRUTAL, UGLY truth of my FABULOUS, BEAUTIFUL life.



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15:19 + 06.12.2006 = multichannel learnings

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so rarely does life afford me the opportunity and time to conduct sloth [the sin, not the strangely-toed animal] research.

but there i was, in my bed at my mum's house with two of the three cats, a remote control with diminishing batteries and what could pass as a "hangover."

within 2 hours, cabletelevision taught me:

1. ricky martin, matt damon, calvin klein, shakira and [of all people] iggy pop all live within a block radius of each other somewhere near one of the beaches in miami.

2. americans are "the hardest working people in the world," and apparently this is because titlest golfballs are made here and the gentleman who portrayed cliff claven in "cheers" is the narrator.

3. the fig tree only gets pollenated by a fig wasp which forces its way into a fig [since the flowerparts are on the inside of the fruit] and lays its eggs. so really, if you think about it... every fig has been infested... and i must insist that if vegans are to remain true to their convictions, they must stop eating figs.

4. it's 25degrees Fahrenheit, partly cloudy with a 50percent chance of percipitation [snow] and v. slim chance of any actual accumulation.

5. the "real world" still exists. and it does as much in the subpar city of Denver.

6. scientists are training bees to detect bombs.

7. struggling standup comics aren't all that funny even when equipt with their own little HBOshowcase halfhour show. in fact, such equiptment makes them terribly less funny. ...to the point of dull and awkward.

8. pantylines are the biggest fashion no-no according to Glamour magazine and are not to be confused with the #3 no-no: the visible thong.

9. chicken stock is done when the bones can be easily snapped apart.

10. i do not miss television whatsoever.

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comments?? --->[thisaway]--->[[looks to me as though there are...]]---> 0 repercussions thus far

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[prologue] *** [epilogue] ***[plottwist!]

[[erstwhile]] ***** [[forthwith]]

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me
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you
or
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else...
immortality!



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