[to andymonkey via friendster circa oct.2004]

"shut the fuck up!"

that's what you texted me.
that's what my dad was reading whilst using my
computer.
"who's this, matt?" he asked.
"why, that's my friend andy," i replied.
"nice language," he reported.
[oh my god! dad totally said "nice" fill-in-the-blank
phrase. i'm surrounded by metrosexuals! ick!] i thought.

point is... what was i shutting the fuck up about? djp? cuz gurrrrl... i can'st be talkin' 'bout dat
nowwah... the doctor is bringin' taco bell and hiz
beeUTEteefull eyes 'n' ass over to watch bring it on or
queens of comedy with me. and i'll insist he slip me
some tongue.

seriously... i think we might be together now.
which confuses me.
since i've never had sex [in MY sense of the word...
y'know... naked rolling around until someone asks, "is
there a towel?" at least] with him. and the thought of
smoking djp pole sends me into a fit of
hysterical giggles [the type that leads most
shakespearean female characters to drown themselves
in rivers.]
but we shall see.
since he kissed me a week ago tonight [but who's
counting? homosaywha? "wha."], i haven't so much as
thought about pretending that some random customer is
making eyes at me, let alone sleeping with married men.
[don't worry, they were married to each other.]

i worry about the whole too-good-to-be-true thing. but
then again... the phrase that plays the utmost role in my
decision-making process, ever since sex class senior
year with li'l michaletz, is "it's just so shocking, it must
be true!!!"

so anyway.... limbo is lovely. and my burrito is ringing
the doorbell.