incidents in which i have been thrown for a loop:

1. hit by car whilst pedestrianing on lunchbreak.
2. horrific overdraft charge from bank.
3. not being the only white person at the CubFoods in North Minneapolis.
4. sort of repremended for being excessively punctual [read: hella early] for work shifts and leaving semi-punctually [read: 15-25 minutes early] to shift-end.
5. 3-night reunion with insomnia.
6. consuming of a steak sandwich at Highland Grill.

cures, respectively:

1. laughter.
2. ignorance.
3. missy elliot on iPod repeat.
4. working 10.5 hours in one 7-hour shift.
5. sample prescription for ambien. [[not recommended!!]] and, not-drinking a bottle of wine.
6. vegetables in raw form. lots.

useless emotions which i have encountered in an unreasonably small amount of time:
[in alphabetical order]...
anger, anxiety, dread, envy, frustration, happiness, jealousy, melancholy, remorse.

useFUL emotions which i have encountered [but, have yet to utilize]:
[in alphabetical order]...
ambition, fear, joy, loneliness, yearning.

best song lyric:
"i'm happy because i'm stupid."

best joke [which everyone has probably already heard]:
I was really into bestiality, sadomasochism, and necrophilia, but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

best "quote of the day":
They have a fucking MANHOLE in the women's bathroom but they don't have a drain in the kitchen!?

most astoundingly ubiquitous typo:
"definately."