the BRUTAL, UGLY truth of my FABULOUS, BEAUTIFUL life.



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11:35 a.m. + 2005-06-01 = bull-dyke, bird mobiles and louie anderson.

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four fillings, three crowns, two remaining wisdom teeth to be removed and a partridge in a pear tree.

my dental hygenist looks like the typical midwest farmer's wife, which means if she lived anywhere urban-esque no one would mistake her for anything short of the world's friendliest bull-dyke.

i got the bird room for the cleaning/check-up. there are three themed rooms at the dentist's office that i am aware of: birds, fish, and louie anderson. the first two have fake birds and fish hanging from the ceilings above the patient's seat. the last involves WAY too many signed and personalized headshots of louie anderson in panoramic display. i'm pretty sure i've made it quite clear that i cannot 'sit still' when under the double threat of dentalpick and bird mobile or dentalpick and louie anderson paraphernalia. but alas, the fish room was having it's windows replaced as was louie's room. so, i withstood the medieval picking and scraping and polishing under nine birds obviously bought at Hobby Lobby [a store which is closed on Sundays "in order to give our employees time to reflect and worship God."]

i've weak teeth. it's my mum's fault. and now i've traumatized weak teeth, which is louie anderson's fault.

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comments?? --->[thisaway]--->[[looks to me as though there are...]]---> 0 repercussions thus far

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[prologue] *** [epilogue] ***[plottwist!]

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