the BRUTAL, UGLY truth of my FABULOUS, BEAUTIFUL life.



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6:41 p.m. + 2004-09-05 = remember hope?

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i'm good at being alone. i'm good at not-caring. i'm good at not-blinking-an-eye. i'm good at creating a mysterious aura. i'm good at boxing-it-up. i'm good at saving-for-rainy-days. i'm good at convincing myself i'm better off without [fill-in-the-blank]. i excel beyond reasonable capacity at me-time (also known as, "ball o'string syndrome"). i work wonders with boredom. i am self-centered, if only, for effeciency's sake--to take 2 steps forward without that usual, altruistic one-step back. my best holidays are spent at last resorts. i'm great at being alone.

but there reaches a point...

and such a point has, since/just, been reached...

i need a date with attraction and sparked interest. a date to be followed by a second. to be followed by a third. to be followed by and-so-forth. a date in which i won't be thinking of he-whose-name-we-do-not-mention-here and/or brian. i morning-after not filled with that feeling akin to buyer's remorse. i need to fall in love. be in love.

if only to eventually bring me directly back here, to this point of feverish frustration. just something to get me away from this block of walking concrete that i seem to be. [thunk, thunk.] something to remind what hope is like. [the touch, the feel, the fabric of our lives.]

having said all that... i won't be actively pursuing said-something. that'd be prone to accident, susceptible to failure. if not entirely!... self-defeating.

however, i just don't do well with waiting. [especially when all the crosswords have been completed.]

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comments?? --->[thisaway]--->[[looks to me as though there are...]]---> 0 repercussions thus far

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[prologue] *** [epilogue] ***[plottwist!]

[[erstwhile]] ***** [[forthwith]]

reference desk

me
&
you
or
us
&
them
else...
immortality!



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