the BRUTAL, UGLY truth of my FABULOUS, BEAUTIFUL life.
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12:16 p.m. + 2003-08-07 = trailerpark housewife
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well, yesterday's contemplation... solved. le peacock confronted me via computer messaging system and asked if we were no longer speaking. i replied with an i don't know. and i really don't. we talked forever and a day and then we made a final goodbye over phone. after which i messaged him as fast as i could to say that it simply can't end this way. (--and just why not, pojken? let it go--says my head. --don't listen to 'im, pojken.--says my heart (which speaks in a northern english accent, although not manchunian.))
after that i cried for an hour. gene was too tired to hang out. all my friends were gone. i just wanted to scream and kick things. i felt SO lonely and frustrated. i hyperventilated for a bit then made a bee-line for the cashpoint, took out 20 dollars, purchased some hefe weizen, pint-or-so gin, 2 packs of menthol american spirit goodness and preceeded to drown my misery in vice. near 11pm, i decided that i should play suburban housewife (take two vicodin with extremely dry martini, put on your best apron and a billie holiday record and stagger into the kitchen to bake a cake only to cry in the flour and add far too much baking soda.) however, i only had a tylenol three (codeine) and 3 hefe weizen at this point. so i had to play trailer park housewife instead.
woke up extremely late (10.30am), must get to the lake (3.5 hour drive) by 1pm... it's nearly 12.30. family will be pissed, but i feel A LOT better.
but now i know. i can't leave minnesota fast enough.... tired of snogging my pillow (named berk)... it's unreceptive and last night had far too much loose cat hair on it.
oh! and... i may not have mentioned it earlier (it happened so long ago)... but my prada sport shoes have a greenish tint all around the sole... note to self: don't mow overgrown lawn in prada shoes. although, it does give the appearence that these shoes aren't any more special than any of my other shoes... which is true. i'm just saying that i really should have worn the green steve maddens... then there wouldn't be this ludicrous grass stain. oh well. off to the lake i a-go. i'll be back saturday.
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comments?? --->[thisaway]--->[[looks to me as though there are...]]---> 0 repercussions thus far
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